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The Long Blondes Interview
Words: Everett True   
Photography: Cat Stevens

Pop said. When I was a child, the half-hour walk to primary school led me across a busy road, the A12. It wasn’t a motorway, and either side was punctuated by trees, gravel pits and hidden copses where if you didn’t run fast and wily you’d quickly be pinned down, but there was no denying that the folk who lived on the new housing estate near the Junior School didn’t hang around with us kids who lived in the old part of town. We were separated by a trunk road.
One time, I walked slap bang into a lamppost.
After that, I kept my eyes open.

Do you find that you intimidate audiences?
Kate Jackson (voice, songs): “I hope so.”
Dorian Cox (guitar, songs): “Not intimidated, but…”
Kate: “I don’t think so. They never fail to come over to us afterwards.”
Dorian: “The intimidated ones scurry off home to write on message boards, ‘The Long Blondes were crap’.”
Screech Louder (drums): “Jealousy, nothing wrong with it. It’s a human emotion.”

The Long Blondes

Oh blimey fuck. I don’t know. I’m so unused to doing interviews these days. You know how to do interviews. You tell me how to do it. “Ask us a string of questions about how we formed and what our influences are and all that stuff,” suggests Screech. OK. The Long Blondes formed in Sheffield in 2003 and, after releasing a handful of singles on a variety of cool labels, have been snapped up by Rough Trade. Until recently, Cox worked in admin at Sheffield University (“It was getting embarrassing, the number of students asking me for autographs”), Jackson sold vintage clothes on e-Bay, Louder was briefly at the Home Office and the other two members, Emma Chaplin (keyboards) and Reenie Hollis (bass) worked in a Leeds art library and in the media studies department of a Rotherham college respectively.

Their interests are…oh, wait. I get it. I’m supposed to ask them that.

Do you recognise yourself in the mirror? Kate: “How do you mean? I don’t know what you’re getting at! At home…?”
I don’t recognise myself in the mirror.
Kate: “I’m very, very used to seeing myself.”
Screech: “I try to avoid looking in mirrors as much as possible.”
Emma: “I’m the same, especially if I’m on a night out. You don’t want to see the sick truth!”
Screech: “Yeah, mirrors and tape recorders.”
Emma: “I don’t like looking at photographs of me at all.”
Kate: “I do. I look at pictures of me a lot, because there are lots of pictures of me all over the place now.”
When you’re singing, do you know what you sound like?
Kate: “When I hear recordings back I do, yeah.”
How do you do that?
Kate: “I’ve got a good voice, mate!”

lonely this christmas
So I was listening to your single ‘Christmas Is Cancelled’ earlier, and my wife pointed out that it sounds exactly like Elvis Costello’s ‘Oliver’s Army’.
“A lot of people have said that,” replies Screech. “Do you know The Vichy Government? They did a cover of it and mixed the lyrics to ‘Oliver’s Army’ in, and it sounded great.”
“I’m quite pleased with that,” says Dorian. “It’s always nice to give Elvis Costello a leg-up. I thought I’d do what I could.”
Context. This is important. Pop said, trust in me and if you’re sweet and calm and wear floral patterned shirts on Tuesdays and keep taking the piano lessons, maybe I’ll re-introduce you to some decent music every 16 years. Pop said, it’s the Christmas records that are the most special, because they have a head start – they’re already about a special occasion – and the most special ones of all are the ones that mix melancholy with the tinsel, heartache alongside the happiness – and the reason you fell so heavily, headily for The Long Blondes, Sheffield’s finest if we leave aside near neighbours Arctic Monkeys (and we’ll do that for many, many reasons), is because they did all this on their free Christmas download of a couple of years back, a song you placed on play and repeat on iTunes one rainy winter in Seattle. Yet it’s taken you this long to realise its similarity to Costello. And this, after you heard The Long Blondes’ pink vinyl debut single, ‘New Idols’/’Long Blonde’ (SPC) and had them initially tagged as a fine reprise of The Au Pairs’ agonised, political, early Eighties groove.
Where do you fit in with the current pantheon of music? I’m not clued in on it right. All I listen to is what I like, and anything else I don’t like I don’t listen to.
“That’s the best way to be,” nods Screech.
I was watching the Live Forever documentary…
“Is that the Britpop one?” the drummer asks.
“Yeah,” confirms Dorian. “I’ve seen that. The saving grace is Jarvis – and Liam’s hilarious.”
It depressed me.
Screech: “It is a bit…”
Dorian: “…self-serving…”
I’m guessing you don’t relate to Blur…
“No,” exclaims Screech, horrified. “No,” he repeats. “We’re very much not Blur. I can think of a few bands around that are Blur. We’re not.”
So what is the context you exist within? What about these almost mythical labels like the Sheffield Phonographic Corporation and the Angular Recording Company you’ve released singles on, with their anachronistic artwork and fond regard for vinyl? These people are stars in my world: the abrasive mix of teen punk and jagged refrains they keep releasing, scouring the UK for like minds. I’m talking the minimalist art school frenzy of Champion Kickboxer, those crafty magpies Smokers Die Younger, the very excellent Motherfuckers, the even more excellent Fucks, the Virginian chicken farmer Charles E Cullen. I’m talking The Violets’ Gothic screech, yes, Art Brut (and there’s nothing wrong with that), Luxembourg’s glam pout and The Sweethearts’ gentle femme-pop (“Me, my housemates, a bottle of Lambrini, a Casio and a four track,” writes Angular co-founder Joe). Isn’t this The Long Blondes’ world, not all those dumb-ass awards ceremonies where Kate’s been nominated for ‘Sexiest Female’ and a bunch of skinny boys with perfectly tousled hair and a collection of Hives and Yeah Yeah Yeahs singles rub shoulders deferentially with Chris Martin.
“We’ve met a lot of likeminded people on the way up,” agrees Dorian, “but when we started, we thought we were the only ones. We thought we’d be up against macho laddism – soundmen in shorts. But then these people cropped up.”
Your lyrics: it’s rare to hear a woman singing them…
“I think it’s rare for males to be singing them,” corrects Dorian. “I can’t think of any other bands that are doing it.”
Sardonic social commentary mixed with tearyeyed heartache? I read somewhere that’s what the Arctic Monkeys do. I listened to their record and didn’t hear it myself, couldn’t get past that horrendous drumbeat, but…
“It’s completely different,” counters Screech.
“Alex is an auteur at what he does – social commentary in the vaguest sense. But I think, and this is not necessarily a criticism, they have a very laddish and braggish attitude. That’s not us. To use a hideous soundbite, they’re in the gutter looking at the gutter and we’re in the gutter looking up at the stars. Our lyrics are much more aspirational. We’re saying we’re in this situation and we’d like to escape it, and they’re saying they’re in a situation and they quite like it.”

dry your eyes, sunday girl
There are so many ways I don’t relate to The Long Blondes. One: they know about kissing. Two, their new single is called ‘Weekend Without Make Up’. Weekend? I spent my entire early twenties without deodorant or hair styling, in 10-inch polyester flares hawked from jumble sales (charity stores were too grand for me) and no, I didn’t have a girlfriend, now you mention it. All I had was a plastic bag swinging gaily from my hand, containing vinyl and crisps packets and spectacles, as I hopped from one foot to another in abandon, out of time.
So many different ways: they understand about cool and poise and chic and why Continental people are cooler than Brits, and why comic book artists are obsessed with the Victorians, and what it’s like to throw up purple puke over your glitter-streaked face, and how to cherish a pair of shoes, and the attraction certain icons (Warhol starlet Edie Sedgwick, Sixites film star Anna Karina) have over others, and what it’s like to have friends you can have conversations with. I’m 45 and I still don’t understand any of that stuff. All I can grasp at are certain mannerisms, the way a wrist is flicked downward, a yelped backing vocal, resonance and pure, clear female voices dipping and soaring and rising gracefully upward, and yeah, lust etc.
“The Long Blondes,” someone whispers, “are the ultimate fantasy pop group: Jean Harlow, Mae West, Nico, Nancy Sinatra and Barbara Windsor.” A weekend? Man, these kids know how to make a man feel insignificant. I wish I’d paid more attention to The Go-Betweens. They’d have taught me how to wear eyeliner.

What is your favourite item of clothing?
Screech: “This Adam And The Ants T-shirt. It’s an original I was given by a friend. I’ve had it for about a year. It fits me like a dream. It’s a good gig T-shirt. It’s white, so it doesn’t make me too hot.”
Dorian: “Favourite item of clothing? Oh Christ! Suggest one. I’ve got so many.”
Emma: “Your cowboy boots, because you wear them for every gig.”
Dorian: “You make me sound like Jet! They’re supposed to be like Edwyn Collins.”
Yeah, well. I never did understand that side of Edwyn.
Dorian: “It’s meant to be Americana, like the Davy Crockett hat.”
Screech: “Kind of Velvet Underground.”
Is that what it is? See, I never understood The Velvet Underground.
Screech: “Ah well, there you go. They are a band of two halves.”
There was one half I really didn’t like.
Dorian: “And the other half I really didn’t like.”
Kate: “Did you see Lou Reed when he was on Jools Holland? He had the Tai Chi.”
Dorian: “It was Antony, from Antony And The Johnsons.”
Kate: “It was like the worst five, seven minutes of television I’ve ever seen.”
Screech: “He’s a dull man isn’t he, Reed?”
Dorian: “Very Reed.”
Screech: “That’s well Reed. You could use that as an insult.”

Pop said, place your trust in me and really, there’s little that can go wrong. Pop isn’t a matter of throwing money at a wall, or endless years spent in back rooms ‘paying your dues’, or fitting in, or tracksuit bottoms and one-star sneakers. Pop is craft is pride is joy is the knowledge there is more than one way out of this is filmic splendour is Shangri-Las B-sides is the odd snatch of a whispered refrain caught from a car window is sunlit ferry rides into industrial wastelands is The Royalettes. Pop is tight-fitting skirts, the charm of Rita Tushingham, a dimple, smudged mascara, the knowledge that the illusion you create can be more important than the reality you face because life is all about perception, and nothing matters more than having a nice pair of spectacles. Pop is a three-minute rush of blood, and to my way of thinking, nothing starts that blood rushing faster than hearing a perfectly composed, slightly cruel, femme voice warning unsuitable types away from getting too close.
When I import my promo CD of The Long Blondes’ new single, it shows up in my iTunes folder as ‘Boombastic’ by Shaggy, from the album My Lover Lover.
That’s precisely what I’m talking about.

sheffield sex city
“I’m Kate. I’m the singer in The Long Blondes. My favourite item of clothing is my black patent stilettos, which I wear for every single gig and they’re now falling apart as you can see. There’s a rip, the toecap’s come off the heel…[she holds the shoe up for my inspection >…yes, they are battered. I can’t bring myself to buy any new ones. They’re moulded to the shape of my feet and, um, they’re a classic shape, and, um, they go with everything I wear. They were from Langton’s Antique Centre in Sheffield, a bargain at £8.”
“I’m Reenie. I’m going to go for the yellow polka dot headscarf that I’m wearing. Yellow is the colour of the season supposedly, and yeah it’s summer, so it’s time to get out your headscarves.”
Do you follow colours of the season? You’re wearing yellow eyeshadow.
“No,” Reenie replies. “Because you don’t want to end up in puce.”
“I’m Emma. My favourite item, I wore it for the last four gigs we did, it’s my customised cat shirt, it’s white with little black spots and little black cats all over it and it goes with everything, all my jeans, all my skirts, it’s a classic and it was £3 in a sale.”
Pop told me this: it’s important, what bands wear. Music is not just sound, it’s context: what you’re drinking (orange squash, thanks), the way your glasses needle your nose, the lack of overbite in the jaw, the hum of an overworked computer, the colour of the walls, the repetition on TV. I imagined The Long Blondes to be my friends, to be dressed in suede and velvet and cheap antique clothing way before I ever saw a picture of them. Gotta confess, I thought that Kate would have blonde hair but that’s an old prejudice. Flowery-patterned dresses, sharp pointed shoes, the odd PiL or X-Ray Spex badge on the lapel, red handbags…kind of like my old Pastels crowd up in Glasgow, if I’m honest. I guess what I’m saying here is: there’s no way The Long Blondes can disappoint me because I have little imagination left and hence zero expectation. So when you get up on stage, do you dress up?
“Hmmm, I suppose,” muses Reenie, “compared to what we’ve been wearing in the van.”
“Where have the cosy socks gone?” Kate suddenly asks, aghast, looking around the tour van where the interview is taking place. There’s a montage of Diana Dors that Kate’s been working on for the new single sleeve slung over the back seat, a few discarded croissants and bottles of water, plus a copy of Mojo. I’ve seen far worse.
“Ah no, they have disappeared, Katherine!” exclaims Reenie. “The boys must have hidden them. They’re far more concerned about image than us.”
I don’t normally prep for interviews but I made a special exception for you because, Gosh darn it, I like you kids. So I noticed all the questions thrown at you are about image, and either refer to Kate as a vixen, a vamp or a…
“Or a style icon,” the singer laughs. “How does it feel to be a style icon? I get that all the time. It’s fantastic, fan-bloody-tastic, fan-fan bloodybloody tastic!”
So I was watching Live Forever last night…
“Did you like it?” interrupts Reenie.
It reminded me of how much I hated Britpop… but The Long Blondes remind me of Britpop and I don’t know why.
“I guess it’s because we’re all of that age,” Kate extrapolates. “When we were teenagers and going out, Britpop was huge. We loved those bands. Suede were massive.”
“You know, the good bands, not your Northern Uproars,” Reenie reminds me.
God, don’t tell me. I interviewed them once on a council estate in Manchester. Man, it was depressing. Nice lads but…depressing.
So you liked the poncey bands?
“Yeah,” they reply in unison.
“Have The Long Blondes made you want to revisit the Britpop era any more?” Kate asks coyly.
No. It made me think I should stop listening to The Long Blondes! I fucking hated Britpop. Except Pulp, of course…and, well there’s the rub, there’s the game right there, the money shot, the billion dollar payback, the green, the focus, the moment where pound signs start to appear in A&R people’s eyes (and boy, do we care for those sparkly, cheery, dimpling A&R people’s eyes). Because. Well I may as well state it. The Long Blondes remind me of Pulp: the same sardonic wink, the same literary liturgy, the same elegant, cheaply-dressed charm, the same fucking city for God’s sake, the same disregard for convention, the same love for Sixties girl pop. No bad thing.

Here are some Long Blondes songtitles I like.

appropriation (by any other name)
“Eighty per cent of lovers never forget their first/That significant other whose departure makes it worse.” Man, these lyrics lacerate. What would you do if I didn’t come back tonight/I’m not always at your beck and call.”
Ever had a love attack? You’re equal but different. This was the quintet’s third single, backed by ‘Lust In The Movies’ and ‘My Heart Is Out Of Bounds’. The song is spiteful and jarring and sassy and smart and boasts a melody line that wouldn’t have been out of place on an early (delete as applicable) Blondie/ABBA/Motown album. There. I’ve given more of the game away. There’s little left now except fascination.
Honestly? I much prefer life on random. Because life is random, as the slogan rightly states.
Do you ever look at press releases?
Dorian: “Only our own.”
I hate the way artists always get compared to the same 10 groups – Gang Of Four, Joy Division, Nirvana, My Bloody Valentine, Radiohead, Coldplay, R.E.M., Huggy Bear…
Dorian: “When we started, we put on our website that we don’t listen to The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, Jimi Hendrix or The Doors, because they were the bands that anyone who was in a band looked up to. They’re all fine, in moderation – apart from The Doors…”
Murmurs of agreement.
Screech: “And possibly not [Bob > Dylan.”
Reenie: “I don’t mind Hendrix. I’ve got a best of somewhere.”
You don’t need it. He’s only got one song.
Reenie: “There’s a new list now.”
Screech: “Joy Division are top of the new list. The Clash, Talking Heads…”
Dorian: “We’re from a different generation to you. What have we got to rebel against?”
Arctic Monkeys.
Dorian: “You look at their faces and it’s like an Oxfam advert. You can’t help but feel sorry for them.”

weekend without make up
“At the start, I see an isolated woman,” explains Kate. “By the end, she’s triumphantly overcoming what she’s been struggling with, ie: a guy, always a guy – and ends up going out and dancing. So yeah, go out and dance when you hear the record!”
…those words you sing, it’s unusual to hear a woman singing them.
“Well,” counters Kate. “Half of our lyrics are written by a guy.”
So what half do you write? Do you write the drippy, sappy…
“No,” she laughs. “Those are Dorian’s!”
I was thinking as much.
“Dorian writes from a female perspective and I write the more masculine songs like ‘Darts’ [fine, short, punky song about countless student afternoons spent watching daytime TV > and ‘Separated By Motorways’,” the singer explains.
“I write about sitting in pubs.”
I’m interested to know your definitions of masculine and feminine here.
“There’s a certain ballsiness, for want of a better word, about ‘Separated By Motorways’,” says Screech, “whereas ‘Giddy Stratospheres’ or ‘Weekend Without Makeup’ have a vulnerability that people associate more with femininity.” “I wouldn’t ever write myself into a vulnerable position,” states Kate.
“Kate’s got a very self-assured character,” Dorian comments, “whereas I don’t, and that comes out in our lyrics. And the twist is in the way she interprets them.”
“I sing them quite aggressively,” Kate explains.
Do you like the way she interprets them?
“Yeah, absolutely,” the guitarist enthuses, “especially now I know what suits Kate’s voice. It all stems from Motown and the Sixties writers that wrote for singers like Dusty Springfield and Scott Walker. The reason they were such great singers was because they could interpret other people’s lyrics and make them their own. They took a step back from that earnest Lennon and McCartney approach, ‘We write and sing all our own lyrics’. So what? That’s just a means to an end.”
“Just because you write it and sing it yourself it,” comments Screech, “doesn’t necessarily make it a good song.”

lust in the movies
“I just want to be a sweetheart (x3).” Stalking, talking, the finest song based around a love of old film this side of The Go-Betweens’ ‘Lee Remick’, boils away with barely concealed passion, wait there’s more: “So never, ever, ever tell me it’s a pleasure being alone/All I have with me are the books and records that I own/’Nag, nag, nag’ (x4)”…maybe I can relate! The song references The White Stripes and Rough Trade electronica pioneers, Cabaret Voltaire…and God alone knows, I do that every other day.

swallow tattoo
Now I’ve started thinking, Sleeper. And I never want to do that.

giddy stratospheres
The second single, no wait, this is the Au Pairs one. Live, it soars; Kate singing at least an octave higher and with such an engorged tune you want to snuggle it up in your arms and tell it never to run away again, hang on tight if need be, but please – no more Koala Bear noises late at night, they’re so damn scary. There’s some killer call-and-response from the other ladies, too. And the B-sides (‘Polly’, ‘Darts’) are even finer…shorter and finer.
I tell Screech he drums like a girl.
He nods, complimented: “My favourite drummers are girl drummers.”
Me too.
“Do you like Wet Dog?” he asks.
That’s exactly what I’m talking about!
“The guitarist in Wet Dog also drums for Country Teasers and The Rebel, “Screech continues. “We did some gigs with them up in Scotland. She is the best drummer, she doesn’t use a kick drum, she stands up and she’s absolutely amazing.”

once and never again
“Nineteen, you’re only 19 for God’s sake/You don’t need a boyfriend.” A song of empowerment for teenage girls, Kate’s voice cajoling and critical and knowing and swooning through the chord changes, backed up by some frantic keyboards and seemingly random segments of guitar: great break in the middle too, “You know I’m not so young/I spend an hour getting ready every day”…
Once again, one suspects a lyric of Dorian’s, not Kate’s.
“We exist in our own little bubble,” says Screech. “This single is like a doorway into that bubble, and if you get it you’re allowed to go through the door, and if you don’t, then you can fuck off.”

separated by motorways
This is where we came in. The fourth single. Elastica is the preferred band of comparison for four out of five music critics. Why not just say Wire, and be done with it?
Kate: “It has a matter-of-fact tone you might associate with…”
I thought it was sad, a comment on the way nasty modern-day life keeps people apart with its reliance on all these soulless byways for roaring monsters of metal and steel, rushing past continually, no room for human contact…little children running across motorways…
Kate: “No.”
I had to cross the A12 to get to my school when I was a kid.
Screech: “My school was on two sides of a busy main road.”

Earlier, at Portsmouth’s Pyramid Leisure Centre, as Kate was pouting and preening and sashaying in her pencil-sharp skirt in front of squealing 14-year-olds on the latest NME tour, I was accosted by a couple of new acquaintances, dance guru and street performer types.
“She’s good, isn’t she?” they asked rhetorically.
“Got a bit of a No Doubt thing going on…”
I stumbled, perplexed, into a toilet cubicle. The Long Blondes remind me of many things – overnight trips to Edinburgh, when the bus has broken down and we while away the small hours by seeing how close we can run to the passing 80mph traffic; a quayside in Manhattan with helicopters whirring in the distance; boot fairs and the ridiculous delight to be had in finding Bow Wow Wow, The Muppets and Rachel Sweet singles for 50p, even though you own them already three times over; tuning into a late night dial, all crackly and hissing before Blondie’s ‘Denis’ breaks through the static; crushes on girls wearing berets and neckerchiefs and stripy tops in the late Seventies: arguing late into the night as to whether Philip K Dick’s work should be entirely discounted simply because too many hippies like him; keyboards and cold churches and warm chocolate – but not ska.
But, y’know. First time I saw them, in some scummy London industry pit, Plan B Albums Editor Daniel Trilling took me aside, and said, “They look like they all used to be in ska bands when they were younger…” and you just knew he wasn’t being complimentary, wasn’t talking about The Specials, Desmond Dekker and Dave & Ansel Collins, but something more insidious, more Nineties…but fuck it.
Listen up, Trilling. I’ve spoken to these Long Blondes kids and they’re products of the Britpop bedsit generation, swooning in teen tandem as Brett Anderson flicked his hips and Jarvis lasciviously licked a lollipop…but wait. Now I think on it, maybe Anderson was a ska-head in a previous incarnation. Seems the sort. Did big Jarvis all come down in Texas to save our skins? It’s a moot point.

mind your own business
So what’s your motivation for being in a band?
Screech: “When I was at uni, I had these hideous friends who were serious musos and they were like, ‘Let’s sit round all day in a house’. They had a threebedroom house, and there were two of them, and they’d turned the other room into a music room where they’d sit all day and watch bootleg videos of The Beatles and The Jam. I was like, ‘Well, I can play keyboards in your band’, and they were like, ‘You’re not good enough’. Fuck you. It doesn’t matter whether I’m good enough or not. That’s nothing to do with it.”
Reenie: “Music as a consumer is a really unsatisfying hobby. It’s so awful. You pay your money and you get your album and you don’t like most of the songs on it, and you go to gigs and you get treated like shit. I thought that if I’m going to be interested in music I need to be a bit more active.”
Kate: “You’re constantly told that you only have two options in life, either get a career and be a good citizen – or be a dropout, a loser. Being in a band is my third way. You can make your own choices and be true to who you are, but still be good at what you do and be successful at it.”
So you’re like Tony Blair…
“I got my third way before Tony Blair!” says Kate defensively. “Scrap that, I’m in it for the money.”
“We’re all in this band out of sheer boredom, a way of manifesting our escapist fantasies,” explains Dorian. “We all worked, we did all the normal stuff you do until you’re 21. We decided that if we pushed ourselves we could do something else – which, in my opinion, is how bands are supposed to start. They’re not supposed to start by advertising in the back of a music paper, or in a guitar shop saying, ‘Bass player wanted’.”
“And it’s always Red Hot Chili Peppers on those adverts!” Screech groans.
“The more you get into the music industry, the more the veil is lifted,” muses Emma.
"In the same way that life has a set of formulas, record companies seem to think there’s a set of rules to making a band successful and you don’t have to even have talent,” continues Kate. “Some of these bands emerge out of nowhere, all over MTV, with shitloads of money pumped into them and no one knows who they are.”
It's like that guy says in Dig! Record companies actually expect 90 per cent of their acts to fail commercially. No other industry in the world would countenance a 90 per cent failure rate.
“You don’t get into it because of that,”ends Dorian. “That’s something you only discover as you go along, and what happens next depends on how you react to that.”

This article first appeared in Plan B issue 12
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